i've always wondered how open to be on here. i'm not the most open person to walk the earth. it just takes trust and loyalty for me to tell people things and i've found those two qualities rare these days. for the past 6 months my life has been in despair. i've had a hard time every single day. i'm being "pulled" out of auburn by my parents. it seems they've always been pulling me out of something just to put me somewhere else. i'm tired of being embarrassed about decisions i have to live with that other people make. so i'm going to take this one solo. i've set before myself nearly the hardest goal i could imagine. i'm trying to come back after labrum surgery and four years off, and play professional baseball. this is like mount everest for me. it's like the hardest task i could set before myself, and yet it's still my dream. it's tough to set out and be on this journey with no support. there's times when it would be nice to be able to have someone pat you on the back and be there for you. since high school i've learned so much about myself. one thing i've learned is that i perform the best operating under pressure. especially when i have the pressure of the highest goal i can think of. along the way i hope that i meet people who think like me and people who don't. i hope to meet open minded, kind hearted people as well. this is the toughest time in my life. it's forcing me to learn to be positive. what i've learned through this is that the soul has to be pursuing a passion. i'm not wired to be put through this course and that ringer and into a certain position to be successful. i have to have a dream that is playing in my head 24/7. the same dream that i've seen ever since i took my first breath. it's the reason i was put on the earth. in the end i hope that i'm understood and i hope that just one person's passion is sparked with how i play the game.
"But at nighttime, when there was nothing to do, and the house was all empty, I'd always think of Jenny." -Forrest Gump
p.s. you know bob marley believed that you could cure racism by injecting love and music into people's lives.
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