change...

21 has possibly changed bear beasley. i never have been a very laid back person. i wouldn't go as far as to say that i am laid back now, but i have felt different since turning 21. i've never had a class load this hard. i've never had a mother with terminal cancer. it seems i've never had this much on my plate. i feel like the old bear would have freaked out and shut down. for some reason i just keep livin. it seems that the more that i have to do, i just get it done. i know that every new day i have an opportunity to do more than i did the day before. i'm happy with the way that the semester has been going so far. i knew that i had to buckle down and focus this semester. i have done a good job at doing that, and i hope it will stay that way. i have a good schedule, i just have to get through tuesdays and thursdays. this wasn't a planned blog. i really want to talk about, "just keep livin." i just felt a need to put this down. i'm not looking forward to the next week. we get monday off from school, but mom has surgery tuesday. i'm praying i have the strength to deal with all that with everything else that i have going on. sometimes the pressure is so much, that i can physically feel it on my chest. and i thought that cal 2 and physics was rough. back to me being different. i havn't really lost my cool since turning 21. nothing has really caused me to freak out. it seems that i'm taking things in stride and just dealing with what i have to deal with. i really like being that way. i know that i still have that "dramatic" side to me. i'm aware that it is still there. i'm going to be careful when it rears it's ugly head again, i hope. every day is a new day. every day is a day to start fresh and be better than the day before. if that doesn't work out, there is always tomorrow. sometimes i seem to forget that the sun comes up every day. probably b/c i hate to see it come up, b/c that means i would be up that early. but i'm thankful that it comes up!